Life’s Weirder Than Fiction

The word of the day today at AWAD is “sideburns”. In her intro, Anu mentions that “for some, beards are a serious business. There’s even a biannual championship event for the bearded.”

As a woman, it is baffling to me that men don’t see their facial hair only as an annoyance that must be dealt with. Most people consider facial hair on women unsightly, so why is it acceptable, even celebrated, on men? Some men will go so far as being willing to lose their job rather than shave. Yet some men prefer removing it altogether. I suppose going beardless also makes a statement.

And then, how much is too much? Is the type of beard — or the type of face– important? What does it say about a man if his beard is unkempt, or über-styled? Are you a different personality if you wear a full beard or a thin line of hair around the jaw? A chinstrap or a goatee? Does your beard style selection (or absence thereof) reflect who you are? With or without a moustache?

Heavy questions indeed.

Tags: beards, facial hair, gender differences, identity

My friend Stephe over at Dynastic Queen, pointed to this Newsweek article about a Kids’ Book on Plastic Surgery, designed to answer children’s question about their mother’s plastic surgery.

Naturally, it has a happy ending: mommy winds up “even more” beautiful than before, and her daughter is thrilled.

My reaction is as strong as Stephe’s, especially after having gone through some of the picture book: a slack-jawed amazement at how far we’ve come to prize the shell we live with and our willingness to pass on that message to children.

My next reaction was: give me a break. You need a book to tell your child you’ve had you nose done? How about a little one-on-one talk? Is spending time talking to your child gone out the window as well?

Tags: books, plastic surgery, Publishing, reading

I’ve been rereading Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff, Christ’s Childhood Pal and giggling all the way. I love Christopher Moore — I’ve read pretty much everything he’s written– but the following extract is such a perfect example of why I love his writing: it’s erudite, funny, irreverent:

“It’s form the Greek, sarkasmos. To bite the lips. It means that you aren’t really saying what you mean, but people will get your point. I invented it, Bartholomew named it.”
“Well, if the village idiot named it, I’m sure it’s a good thing.”
“There you go, you got it.”
“Got what?”
“Sarcasm.”
“No, I meant it.”
“Sure you did.”
“Is that sarcasm?”
“Irony, I think.”
“What’s the difference?”
“I haven’t the slightest idea.”
“So you’re being ironic now, right?”
“No, I really don’t know.”
“Maybe you should ask the idiot.”
“Now you’ve got it.”
“What?”
“Sarcasm.”

Tags: Christopher Moore, Humour, sarcasm, Writing

The American Dialect Society (founded in 1889) voted “subprime“ as the word of the year for 2007.

Subprime is an adjective used to describe a risky or less than ideal loan, mortgage, or investment. Subprime was also winner of a brand-new 2007 category for real estate words, a category which reflects the preoccupation of the press and public for the past year with a deepening mortgage crisis.

Contrary to the Academie Française, the Dialect Society, comprised of lots of word people such as linguists, librarians, writers, and grammarians, do not judge whether a word should enter the English language. They simply note the appearance of a “new word” that is being used often and in different ways. For instance, a worker would say “I subprimed that project”, meaning that it came out less than best. Here are some other words the ADS felt were worthy of mention, with the number of votes for each word:

WORD OF THE YEAR

• WINNER subprime, an adjective used to describe a risky or lessthan ideal loan, mortgage, or investment. 79
• green- prefix/compounding form Designates environmental concern, as in greenwashing. 9
• surge an increase in troops in a war zone. 1
• Facebook all parts of speech. 11
• waterboarding an interrogation technique in which the subject is immobilized and doused withwater to simulate drowning. 1
• Googlegänger A person with your name who shows up when you google yourself. 7
• wide stance, to have a To be hypocritical or to express two conflicting points of view. When Senator Larry Craig was arrested in a public restroom and accused of making signals with hisfoot that police said meant he was in search of a anonymous sex, Craig said it was a misunderstanding and that he just had a wide stance when using the toilet. 2

MOST USEFUL

• WINNER green- prefix/compounding form Designates environmental concern, as in greenwashing. 43/59
• bacn Impersonal email such as alerts, newsletters, and automated reminders that are nearly as annoying as spam but which one has chosen to receive. 14
• celebu- prefix Indicates celebrity, as in celebutard. 13
• connectile dysfunction Inability to gain or maintain a connection. 5
• wrap rage Anger brought on by the frustration of trying to open a factory-sealed purchase. 39/55

MOST CREATIVE

• WINNER Googlegänger Person with your name who shows up when you google yourself. 84
• boom An instance of a military explosion in the phrases left of boom, which describes the US military’s efforts to root out insurgents before they do harm, and right of boom, which describes efforts to minimize attacks with better equipment, systems, and medical care. 1
• lolcat On the Internet, an odd or funny picture of a cat given a humorous and intentionally ungrammatical caption in large block letters. From LOL + cat. 20
• tapafication The tendency of restaurants to serve food in many small portions, similar to tapas. 4 ó

MOST UNNECESSARY

• WINNER Happy Kwanhanamas! [Kwanza + Hanukka + Christmas] Happy holidays! 63
• ruther Someone who espouses a conspiracy theory about the events of 9/11. 5
• vegansexual A person who eats no meat, uses no animal-derived goods, and who prefers not to ave sex with non-vegans. 35

MOST OUTRAGEOUS

• WINNER toe-tapper A homosexual. Senator Larry Craig was arrested in June for an encounterin a public restroom in which toe-tapping was said to have been used as a sexual come-on. 70
• nappy-headed ho An expression used on the Don Imus radio show, and repeated by the host,about the women’s basketball team at Rutgers University. 27
• make it rain To drop paper money on a crowd of people, especially in strip clubs, nightclubs, or casinos. 2

MOST EUPHEMISTIC

• WINNER human terrain team A group of social scientists employed by the US military toserve as cultural advisers in Iraq or Afghanistan. 60
• shmashmortion/smushmortion Abortion. 8
• va-j-j Also va-jay-jay or vajayjay The vagina. 30

MOST LIKELY TO SUCCEED

• WINNER green- prefix/compounding form Designates environmental concern, as ingreenwashing. 70
• global weirding An increase in severe or unusual environmental activity often attributed toglobal warming. This includes freakish weather and new animal migration patterns. 3
• Super-Duper Tuesday Feb. 5th, the day 23 US states will hold primary elections. Also knownas Tsunami Tuesday. 1
• wide stance, to have a To be hypocritical or to express two conflicting points of view. WhenSenator Larry Craig was arrested in a public restroom and accused of making signals with hisfoot that police said meant he was in search of a anonymous sex, Craig said it was amisunderstanding and that he just had a wide stance when using the toilet. 13
• locavore someone who eats food that is grown or produced locally. Nominated by Dick Bailey.13
• texter a person who sends text messages. 5

LEAST LIKELY TO SUCCEED

• WINNER strand-in Protest duplicating being stranded inside an airplane on a delayed flight.31/74
• Billary/Hill-Bill Bill and Hillary Clinton. 1
• earmarxist A congressman or senator who adds earmarks–money designated for a particular person or group–to legislation. Coined by the blog Redstate to refer to Democrats. 32/2
• quadriboobage The appearance of having four breasts caused by wearing a brassiere that is too small. 40/19

NEW CATEGORY: REAL ESTATE/MORTGAGE/LOAN WORDS

• WINNER subprime Used to describe a risky or poorly documented loan or mortgage. 65
• exploding ARM An Adjustable Rate Mortgage whose rates soon rise beyond a borrowerís abilityto pay. 10
• liar’s loan/liar loan Money borrowed from a financial institution under false pretenses,especially in the form of a ìstated incomeî or ìno-docî loan which can permit a borrower toexaggerate income. 1
• NINJA No Income, No Job or Assets. A poorly documented loan made to a high-risk borrower.34
• scratch and dent loan A loan or mortgage that has become a risky debt investment, especially one secured with minimal documentation or made by a borrower who has missed payments. 2

Tags: 2007, American Dialect Society, new words, words

I stumbled upon (with Stumbleupon) They Warned Us… a web page that counts down the end of the world according to the Mayan calendar. In fact, it’s actually the end of the “Long Count”, which falls on a winter solstice in 2012.

Regardless of what the calendar is about, I’m amazed that they were able to predict, 2300 years in the future, when a winter solstice would fall. What’s also amazing is that they calculated time backward to place themselves at a certain point during that calendar. The start of it was the birth of their deities, the end of it, well… the end of it. Nothing would exist beyond that date. No dire predictions: beyond the winter solstice 2012, time would cease to exist.

Whether it’s the Maya or Nostradamus, worrying about events that may or may not happen seems to me kind of futile. There are so many events we need to worry about now, in our private life, our family, our community, country, or the world, that it’s hard to think about the world ending based on Mesoamerican counting.

I’ve decided not long ago that there is room in my life for worrying, but not bitching. If I worry about something, I want to feel I’m able to do something about it (even if it’s only a very small something, such as my contribution to reduce global warming). If I’m not able — or willing– to do something, then all this worrying turns into self-pity or egocentrism, which is definitely not attractive.

I recently realized that an acquaintance, for reasons I can’t fathom, loathes me. I worried about it for a week then mentally shook myself: was this person worth me doing something about it, like confronting him? After a bit of soul searching, I realized that whether he liked me or not had and would never have an impact on what’s important in my life and that the fact that I was worrying about it was more about self-indulgence than real feelings. I was not prepared to confront him because he is not really part of my life, except very minimally. So, off with his head. He’s gone.

Now I have room to worry about my father-in-law’s hip operation and whether I should go spend a few days with my mother-in-law to help her with the house.

Tags: countdown, future, Maya calendar, Nostradamus, prediction, world events, worrying