Fiction Friday >> Write Anything

[Fiction] Friday Challenge for April 3, 2009:
A married couple sets out on a six-month adventure, living on their boat while sailing from port city to port city. By the fifth city, they are thoroughly sick of each other and their relationship takes a serious turn for the worse.

“You left your goddamn pan in the sink again,” Lisa said. “Why do I always have to stow your things before we leave? It’s not like you don’t know everything flies around when we’re at sea.”
“The sink’s deep enough.”
“No it’s not.”
“Pull the lines, will you?”
“You also left your clothes all over the place.”
“I checked the forecast. No squalls ahead.”
“This boat is the size of Rubik’s Cube. You’re a slob.”
“You want the night watch?”
“Are you listening to me?”
“You’re the one who wanted the grand adventure. Now you have it.”
“Yeah. Dirty pans and litter.”
“Bitching and bad seamanship.”
“I can tie a knot as well as you can. Better, even.”
“The way you fold the sails is a disgrace.”
“If you helped me instead of giving orders, it’d be easier.”
“I need a drink.”
“It’s eight o’clock in the morning.”

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5 thoughts on “Fiction Friday >> Write Anything

  1. Aden

    I love it! I love that it’s dialouge and done well enough that I didn’t need any description. I saw it all in my head. (and now I am inspired to work on mine)

  2. GiGi @ Incrementum

    OMG! Yours is fantastic! I don’t even want you to read mine anymore. I love the dialog and the way it ends on it being only 8am made exhausted to think what the rest of the day would be like if at the buttcrack of dawn they’re already fighting that bad.

    Fantastic job!

  3. ~willow~

    Ah, what great snappy dialogue! I have yet to get to this level of conciseness (is that a word) and snappiness, and always enjoy reading dialogues like this. Well done!

  4. James Ashelford

    Loved it. The back and forth of a pure dialogue piece with enough pace to make it punchy and enough character that description really isn’t needed. Very cool.

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