The Dysfunctional Family Letter Generator

Dear asshole,

I just wanted to let you know that you have completely fucked up my life. If you had any balls you would be dangerous. I have a daily appointment with my therapist now because you have misled me one too many times. I have frequently looked the other way, which makes me almost as dumb as you.

This time you have painted yourself into a corner.

I have never shirked my responsibility to tell you that you are a bonehead loser. You would be so much better off if you would just lay off of the welfare and get a job. You must be the product of inbreeding. You are EVIL! It is time for you to stop being a leech. Let this also serve as notice that all future visits have been cancelled as I have an appointment in HELL that I just can not get out of.

Piss off you waste of space,


PS: Please do not reply back, the subject is CLOSED. I need time to cut your face out of every family photo.

Boy, that felt good. Don’t bother stealing that letter. Write your own.

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