Daily Archives: January 6, 2007

Washington Post

The Washington Post has, once again, published a list of neologisms based on common words:

  • Coffee (n.), a person who is coughed upon.
  • Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained.
  • Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
  • Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.
  • Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent
  • Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you absentmindedly answer the door in your nightie.
  • Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp.
  • Gargoyle (n.), an olive-flavored mouthwash.
  • Flatulence (n.) the emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller.
  • Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline.
  • Testicle (n.), a humorous question on an exam.
  • Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified demeanor assumed by a proctologist immediately before he examines you.
  • Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddish expressions.
  • Circumvent (n.), the opening in the front of boxer shorts.
  • Frisbeetarianism (n.), The belief that, when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck there.
  • Pokemon (n), A Jamaican proctologist.
  • Bustard (n.), a rude bus driver.
  • Semantics (n.), pranks conducted by young men studying for the priesthood.
  • Spatula: n. A fight among vampires.
  • Excruciate: n., the ligament that attaches your ex-wife to your paycheck.
  • Perplexed: adj., lost in a movie theater.
  • Population: n., that nice sensation you get when drinking soda.
  • Racket: n., a small pair of breasts.
  • Nincompoop: n., the military command responsible for battlefield sanitation.
  • Ineffable: adj., describes someone you absolutely cannot swear in front of.
  • Pontificate: n., a document given to each graduating pope.
  • Pimple: n., pimp’s apprentice.
  • Discussion: n., a Frisbee-related head injury.
  • Ozone: n., area in which the G-spot is located.
  • Flattery: n., a place that manufactures A and B cup brassieres only.
  • Cabbage Patch: A patch for those trying to stop eating cabbage.
  • Sudafed: A software program on how to file a civil action against the government.
  • Pop Secret: Paternity suit settled without publicity.
  • Oral-B: Monica’s grade on her last intern evaluation.


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