Life’s Weirder Than Fiction

From Nostalgia Central, 40 Things That Only Happen In Movies. Here are some of my favorites:

• It is always possible to find a parking spot directly outside or opposite the building you are visiting.
• All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large red digital displays so you know exactly when they are going to explode.
• On a police stake-out, the action will only ever take place when food is being consumed and scalding hot coffees are perched precariously on the dashboard .
• If you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts, your opponents will wait patiently to attack you one by one by dancing around you in a threatening manner until you have defeated their predecessor.
• No matter how savagely a spaceship is attacked, its internal gravity system is never damaged.
• You will survive any battle in any war UNLESS you show someone a picture of your sweetheart back home.
• A single match is usually sufficient to light up a room the size of a football stadium.
• Plain or even ugly girls can become movie star pretty simply by removing their glasses and rearranging their hair.

And my very favorite:

• All beds have special L-shaped sheets that reach to armpit level on a woman but only up to the waist of the man lying beside her.